WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE ARE WE ALL, I DON´T SAY IT BECAUSE I FEEL ME LOST, OR TO TRY TO FEEL ME IMPORTANT TRYING TO RATIONALIZE, IS BECAUSE I KNOW  WHAT I MUST DO, And SOMETHING STOPS ME, IT IS NOT SO THAT IT DON´T WANT TO DO IT, IS SO SIMPLY I DON´T DO IT, I KNOW WHERE I´M BUT I DON´T KNOW HOW TO BE, THAT TO DO BUT I PREFER NOT TO DO IT, IT´S ALMOST LIKE A DREAM I WISH IT WAS A DREAM, THEN I COULD  WAKE UP And TO FORGET All this, I WANT TO LOSE CONSCIENCE OF HOW I AM, FUSE ME SMOOTHLY WITH The NOTHING And LET OF WORRY ABOUT LIKES And WHYS AND FORGET THIS And LEAVE BEHIND, BUT I CANNOT, FOR SOME REASON I CANNOT DO WHAT I WANTED, And CANNOT FULFILL MY OWN WILL, DON´T REMEMBER HOW  ARRIVES HERE, I NOW PREFER FORGET IT, I DON´T KNOW HOW TO BE OUT OF THIS BECAUSE NEVER TRIED In spite of KNOWING LIKE, I PREFER TO REMAIN HERE ASKING MYSELF, I DON´T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS OUTSIDE, BECAUSE I LEFT THAT LONG TIME AGO And NEVERTHELESS I ALREADY KNOW, And I PREFER NOT TO ACCEPT IT, I PREFER TO REMAIN TO ASK MYSELF, BE HERE DOUBTING BY MYSELF THAN TO DOUBT BY OTHERS, THUS I HAVE UNDERSTOOD MANY THINGS THAN I NEVER KNEW, ONLY  ASKING ME,  And OF THE MANY OF POSSIBLE QUESTIONS. THAT I COULD HAVE DONE I AM SUFFERING BY the SINGLE RESULT OF ONE, THAT I´M HERE BUT THAT I WOULD TO BE THERE, HOW A  SO PERFECT UNIVERSE CAN BE MISTAKEN SO MUCH With me, HOW IS POSSIBLE THAT OF EVERYTHING THIS  I CAN BE SO OUTSIDE PLACE, I KNOW HOW TO LEAVE BUT I ONLY WANT TO FORGET, FORGET EVERYTHING. and COME BACK,WHERE NOTHING CAN WORRY ME, WHERE ALWAYS I CAN FIND HER, ALTHOUGH SHE ISN´T REAL and FORGET WITH HER OF EVERYTHING, OF DEFECTS and PERVERSIONS and BE LEFT IN OBLIVION WITH HER AND NOTHING MORE, BACAUSE IS BETTER BE OUTSIDE, BUT I CANNOT LEFT TO SHE BEING THE SINGLE THING, BECAUSE ALL  I SEE, AND ALL I DO, TAKE ME BACK AT HER ONLY ONE RESULT, And EVERYTHING APPEAR AGAIN, AND THE ONLY I CAN DO IS, STILL ASKING ME WHERE IS SHE?